Romans 8--MORE Than A Conqueror Through Him Who Loved Me.

Hello my lovely ladies! And how has your monday been? I didn't really do anything all that extra-ordinary, I did my school, studied for a report I'm doing on a current event, but then I went to the ortho..and for some reason just got really upset. I don't really MIND going to the ortho, my orthodonist is about as nice as you can imagine, the reason I lost it was for a more stupid, vain reason than hating going to the ortho, or not looking forward to them yanking around on my mouth. I didn't want to go because I had pimples. I tried to cover them up with makeup, but they felt so obvious, and when an orthodonist works on you he really gets UP close...and I was so humiliated by how my face looked...and how they had to look at my face like all the time.I know it sounds stupid, it even looks stupid in print here, but for some reason I was so fixated on those few zits and how awful I thought they looked and how embarrassing it was to have your orthodonist look at them through magnifying glasses.
It was completely ridiculous of me, but when I got in the car, I just started sobbing. My mom had to deal with me blubbering and carrying on...I think of it now and I am ashamed.

How could I have let my emotions rule me so completely? God MADE me, and He made me exactly how He wanted me to be. Who am I to complain about anything? I have an amazing life, a wonderful family who loves the Lord as much as I do, AMAZING friends who encourage me from every side, why am I so fixated on looks? It makes no sense, and I am frightened by how powerful an effect my looks had on me.
I thought I looked awful, so my mood went down the drain, and I started feeling sorry for myself and comparing myself to other...really, how ridiculous!
God has blessed me with so much, it fills me with anger at myself that I would be so ungrateful as to complain about  few insignificant zits when some poor kids are abused, or homeless, or starving.
On top of it all...He MADE me. How could I be so callous as to complain, to say to His face that what he made is not good enough? It's incomprehensible.

And yet, this has been one my main problems all this summer, thinking wayyy too much about myself and my looks. It's so easy to get lost in selfishness, to look in the mirror and either feel vanity or self pity. All this does is take this focus off of where it should be--GOD, and seeking His Kingdom first, and His righteousness.

Matthew 6:33Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

33 But seek first the kingdom of God[a] and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.

I should be focusing on Him and sharing His Gospel and love with others, not worried about myself and how I look and how others think of me. Well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of either flattering or criticizing myself, I'm tired of caring so much how I look. Caring this much about how I look about myself, having this much insecurity and self-hatred, it's self idolatry and bondage straight from satan.
That's why it's so important to PRAY in the SPIRIT, break chains and bondages, speak life and truth and LIFE over yourself instead of lies and darkness. Our enemy isn't the things and people of this world, but wicked and unholy powers and rulers and principalities of this earth and this present darkness, and that's why I and we need to KNOW that and be prepared, and put on the FULL armor of God.
Ephesians 6:10-20

10 Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics[g] of the Devil. 12 For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. 13 This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. 14 Stand, therefore,

with truth like a belt around your waist,
righteousness like armor on your chest,
15 and your feet sandaled with readiness
for the gospel of peace.[h]
16 In every situation take the shield of faith,
and with it you will be able to extinguish
all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation,
and the sword of the Spirit,
which is God’s word.

18 Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert in this with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints. 19 Pray also for me, that the message may be given to me when I open my mouth to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel. 20 For this I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I might be bold enough in Him to speak as I should.
In the name of Jesus I will speak these truths and these scriptures over myself and God has set me free!
God saw fit to give me this hair, this face, this body and that should be good enough for me. Besides, it isn't even about me, it's about GOD, and following HIS Holy Spirit, and sharing HIS Gospel and HIS love with those who are lost and in bondage around me.  I declare in the name of Jesus that I will NOT to be sucked into that way of thinking again. It's so completely wrong and harmful. So if you could pray for me, girls, about this, that would be awesome.
That's part of the battle won. I know what I have to change, and the love of God, the power of the Holy Spirit and breaking chains and speaking truth over my life instead of lies, will change it. That's my huge lesson for today, and I hope you guys will read it it and try to avoid that self destructive path that leads to bondage..trust me, it's not a fun way of thinking and acting.
Thanks for listening, my sisters in Christ!
All my love and God's blessings,
Ari