Metamorphasis

Hello,

This is Ariana from 2023, ten years after many of these posts were written. A few years ago I went through a time, where in a desire to please God, and out of fear of displeasing him, I took a lot of posts off of my blog and reverted them to drafts. However, I am going to prayerfully begin reposting some of them, because, both for memories' sake for myself, but also because not everything that was removed, needed to be. This is one of those posts. I hope it edifies you and draws you closer to Jesus. 

Originally posted on March 23, 2013

"Since you have been raised from the dead with Christ Jesus.."
Clawing at dirt, filling my eyes, my mouth,
Flailing, reaching desperately,
The earth is swallowing me whole,
I know it's not right,
I fight, but gravity seems so much stronger,
I want to close my eyes,
Let it drag me down to darkness,
Away from the light,
Many choices I make,
I compromise,
Darkness is easier than light, right?
If life can't be happy, at least it should be fun,
Fun like a firecracker,
Bursts in flashes of laughter and sparks giddy,
Burns down to the taste of ashes,
I taste when I lay in my bed,
Staring at the ceiling,
Wondering where my life went,
Why nothing satisfies.
I thought I had sunk so far down, so much dirt on me,
The light couldn't reach me,
Yet I stretched up my hand,
Tired of the wrongness of life, the badness in me,
Dirt like darkness choking me,
Poison sugar,
My hand reached up, a crack in the soil found,
And strong fingers grasped my pale digits,
Pulled, and kept pulling,
Gasping, coughing, lungs burning,
Light sears my eyes, I blink,
Dirty lashes fluttering, grains of soil clinging to me,
I look up and I see,
Eyes burning through with love,
Sparking with tears, his tan calloused hand,
Reaches out and cups my freckled dirty cheek,
Stained with many wrongs,
His voice like gentleness and strength, Father, Mother, Teacher, Brother,
"I love you Ari. I love you girl."
I gasp out a sob, clutch the hand cupping my cheek,
Don't ever let me go....
"I will never leave you..."
Little by little, I disentangle myself, vines wrap around,
His eyes ever guiding me on,
His hand still grasping mine,
The journey begins,
He whispers words to me as I go
Who He is, Who I am, tightly
Why I need to keep going, not let the hissing lies,
Coil around me once more,
Vegetation that clings and holds,
Vines that strangle, sink so deep, they very nearly become a part of me,
It hurts, ripping off age old lies,
Can't I just relax? I sigh,
Why this constant work, this maze,
These lies, I'll never get through,
"Since then you have been raised with Christ Jesus, set your heart on things above..."
His voice gently commands,
And for that taste of unconditional love,
I follow the eyes, the voice, trying the reach the full light, the break of day,
A never ending sky.
I fall, weary,
The soil rises, filling my senses,
You'll never change, you're bad, you just are,
The slithering voices of lies, dirt like guilt, coats my tongue,
Despair fills my soul,
I cry to heaven,
"Have I wasted it all?"
Thunder rolls, Tears fall,
Rain comes,
Washes me slowly,
Tears of heaven leaving trails on my sin stained skin,
All of a sudden,
I don't push my way through alone,
He is all around,
My limbs armed with a strength,
Flowing from Him,
His eyes flash as I stretch my arms wide, high,
Words, mine, yet not, flowing from deep caverns in my heart,
Raining out iridescence of the spirit, boldness, freedom,
I collapse into his arms,
Chains broken, New creation. Dead to me, Alive in Christ.
Light explodes, sky expands, vibrant blue, horizons never end,
Yet His voice reminds
"Set your mind on things above, not earthly things, For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."
Hidden means it needs searching for,
New goal, new mission,
Passion, Vision,
Search for my life, hidden in Him,
And never stop.


....................

Have a good day you guys!
-Ariana

Rebirth

Well my friends,

Now is time for me to say-

Welcome.

Welcome to new beginnings, a fresh start, a completely different perspective.

Yes, this is the blog formerly known as Windblown Whimsy, and yes, it has not seen a new post in around six months, but just as this past half year has changed me completely, so this blog is also changed.

The name 'Nothing, Yet Everything' is from the reality that without God and His working in us-we can do nothing, yet, through His power and his working in us, we can do everything.

In many ways this will be a completely different blog than Windblown Whimsy was. No longer will blogging be a pressure, a constant striving to be noticed, receive comments, to gain followers.

'Nothing, Yet Everything' will be my way of living out the call in -->

Philippians 4:8

New International Version (NIV)

^"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Whether that be sharing about my walk with God and what He has been showing me, sharing about the start and progress of my crocheting ministry, or posting photography which shows the beauty of God's creation, I am resolved in that no matter what I post on this blog, it gives glory to God and comes from Him, not from my own striving or selfish endeavors.

                                  It's been a long time coming, but a new beginning is here.
                                               Welcome to Nothing, Yet Everything!
                                                              The journey begins.

--Ariana

The Rest of My Life

So. This is essentially it. I've graduated. I remember being in third grade, and looking at th seniors and thinking that I would never be that old, I'd be in school forever. And honestly, it feels like I have been in highschool for forever, and SO much has happened.

I remember my freshman year. 2009. I was so different back then, when I look at a picture of myself from that year, its almost like looking at a stranger. That was before I working out or doing anything like that, so I was a bit on the chubby side, but more than that, I remember how unself assured I was, but at the same time, I was full to the brim with imagination and emotion. I wrote so many stories, and they were actually quite good, I so was ready to give myself passionately to any cause or fancy that came my way.

                              
And as the years went by, I learned I more and I grew and some dreams died, others sprung up anew.  Times I was closer to God and other I was farther away, times when discouragement really got to me, and times where I could just feel the love from my Heavenly Father wrap around me.
And now I sit back, look upon my highschool career, and wonder, "Have I pleased God? Have I sought to please God, or myself?" So many times I sought to please myself. I made myself miserable obsessing about MY appearance, MY acne and how much it hurt me and made ME feel ashamed, MY triumphs, and MY struggles. But where is God in the midst of those four years of teenagedom?

                             

I'm not going to pretend I'm a perfect Christian, stand here and tell you that I've been nothing but faithful these past four years, that God was foremost in my mind and heart, because most of the time, He wasn't. I was too worried about myself, and my own warped opinion of myself, not to mention how much I worried about what other people thought of me. I for so long wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be that perfect blonde southern girl, with the shiny straight hair and tanned skin. I wanted to be that brilliant blogger who attracts people with her style and writing flair, her photography and panache. I wanted to be the athlete, the volleyball player, that girl who was confident and coordinated. I wanted to be the girl who effortlessly pulled things off.
So often I was so unsatisfied with who I was, my insecurity and worry ate at me.

But I think, throughout of these four years, God has taught me so many things, but one of the things that I think is the most important that he has taught me, and lord knows, will continue teaching me for the rest of my life, is that it is NOT ABOUT ME. I could tell you that he has taught to accept myself, which in many ways He has, and he has blessed me so much, but I realize now, that my goal in life isn't to "accept myself" or "love myself" its love God above all else, to love others, preach the Gospel to them, to serve them and show them how God can transform their lives, and most of all, to serve GOD with everything I do. It's hard. My bent is to be selfish, my bent is to worry about what I want and what I look like and thinking about how others see me. And every day I need to read God's word and renew my mind, and get my mindset where it's supposed to be.

And I realize not many people are going to read this, and fewer, if any, are going to comment. But you know what? If I've encouraged even one person, that's good enough for me. Who am I to expect hundreds of readers and dozens of comments? I'm thankful God is keeping me humble for now, and he's taught me so much through this blog, and even if it never becomes popular, I'm very thankful it exists. So many different stages of my life have been recorded through these posts these past few years, and I don't need validation from others to make that important.

But those of you who do read my paltry ramblings, I love you guys. I know I'm not a perfect blogger, but I hope you guys have been at least a little helped and encouraged by my writings, the outpourings of a highschooler's heart. But that highschooler isn't here anymore. Who knows what God has in store for my future? All I know is I will follow where He leads. Thanks for coming with me on the journey that is the rest of my life.

Love you guys!
God bless forever and ever,

Ariana

India Awaits...

First of all...I apologize for not having posted in nearly a month. But I have been so incredibly busy with finals and papers and homework and presentations and juggling things left and right that I honestly haven't had time.
But I have two pieces of rather big news:
First of all:

                                          
This handsome fella is now my boyfriend :) And he is pretty awesome and stuff and I like his face :3

Second of all:

I will be going on a YWAM DTS for six months, starting June 3rd.  I knowww that's a whole ton of capital letters next to each that don't mean anything to you guys, so I'll explain it!
YWAM (or youth with a mission) is an organization dedicated to training up college students to serve God and spread his message throughout the world, they have bases all over the world, and have ministered to thousands of people. They have this program called Discipleship Training School (hence the DTS) and its a program where students over the age of 18, train for three months at one of their bases, really growing in their faith and learning how to share their faith, before going out and doing missions work for around ten weeks.

And that's what I am doing! And I can't even BEGIN to describe how EXCITED I am. It all started when I was reading this excellent book entitled 'Lady In Waiting' (which I reccomend every young woman read, single or otherwise) and there was a whole chapter dedicated to encouraging young unmarried women to, rather than trying to fulfill themselves through human relationships, use their single-ness and freedom to serve God. That really struck me. These years of my life, when I am in college and unmarried, is when I have the least responsibility on me. I don't have a family of my own to take care of, nor do I have a job that consumes alot of my time. I do have alot of free time, and that free should and will be used to serve the Lord.

God is so awesome and has blessed me so much..I should be using all of my time to serve him and bring him glory, and that it is what I am determined to do.

I will be training in Madison, WI for three months, then I will go to Northeast India and Bhutan, which is an AMAZING God-thing, because I have always been drawn to India and felt like I needed to go there, and I didn't even know we were going to go to India when I applied for the DTS.

So this is going to be a big journey for me and I am so excited to be going on it..just bear in mind you guys, that I will be in training for three months, then in India for the rest of the time..my blogging will be sporadic at best, but I will try to share as much of the experience as I can with you guys.

Please pray for strength and boldness as I take this step down the path that God is guiding me, I can't wait to go grow closer and closer to him.

Love,
Ariana
   

                 

Lense Beautiful

Hi girls!! Now on for my birthday part of my birthday post...It really was a great day, the best birthday I've had so far. It wasn't the presents, or the food, it was the love I felt that day. My grandparents called me while I was still in bed, showering me with blessings and well wishes, and the presents I did get, well, let's say my parents know me very well.
One present made me cry.
My new, amazing, beautiful Nikon D3100.

I'm really excited about that.

But more than that, being eighteen feels really...settled.

God's leading me in the way I should go, and I trust Him.

But...it that might be in Switzerland...very soon :P

But...more on that later.

Cliffhanging,

Ariana

Oh yeah.

Hello,

This is Ariana from 2023, ten years after many of these posts were written. A few years ago I went through a time, where in a desire to please God, and out of fear of displeasing him, I took a lot of posts off of my blog and reverted them to drafts. However, I am going to prayerfully begin reposting some of them, because, both for memories' sake for myself, but also because not everything that was removed, needed to be. This is one of those posts. I hope it edifies you and draws you closer to Jesus. 

Originally posted on March 1, 2012

First of all--
I'm gonna shoot a new recipe at y'all. Because it's tasty, healthy, and filling, but not too filling.
They are Oatmeal and Peanut Butter Pancakes!!
And they rock.
HARRRDD.

PB & J Oatcakes
vegan | makes 10 medium pancakes
Ingredients
1/2 cup quick cooking oats
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup boiling water
1/4 cup non-dairy milk [like almond or soy]
1 Tablespoon peanut butter
pinch salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons sugar
Topping2 Tablespoons each natural peanut butter and jelly

Method | Preheat griddle to medium-high heat [about 350 degrees]. Prepare oatmeal by combinging oats and boiling water in a bowl. Cover and let set for 5 minutes. Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl. Add remaining wet ingredients to oatmeal, including PB, and mix. Add wet to dry and stir until just combined. Scoop onto lightly greased griddle in 1/4 cup measurements. These take a bit longer to cook than traditional pancakes since the oatmeal gives them a lot of moisture – about 2-3 minutes each side. Top with melted PB and J. Dig in!

NOTES:
This will not taste like your average pancake. Its moist on the inside and doesnt really have the fluffy consistency that most pancakes have--but then again they arent carb bombs like traditional pancakes. So. TRY EM. I think y'all will like them :)

MOAR NOTES:

Running and Exercising in general.
How much is too much?
Because I am definitely a victim of  runner's guilt.
I'm pretty sure anyone who is a runner knows how I feel.
You feel guilty when you can't run, and you feel guilty after you run because you think you should have gone farther, run harder.
It's good to push yourself, it's good to extend your limit and reach new heights.
But how much is too much? When does the line cross from 'pushing yourself' to 'overtraining'?
Does anyone know?
Cuz this chick would like to.

EAT HEALTHY. BE HAPPY. RUN LOTS.

Love,
Ari

Outrage

I think for some reason, I feel like God has really been laying food on my heart.  Let me explain. Lately I've been very interested in finding recipes involving all natural ingredients, and trying to incorporate them into my life, with my limited budget. At first I was just think about it from the standpoint of my own personal health goals. I want to maintain my weight, keep a trim figure, so it makes sense to eat GOOD food, not all that processed artificial food that your body wasnt meant to consume.
But today my view on that matter has drastically changed, because my English teacher showed us a movie in class, called Food, Inc.
Which shocked, horrified, and terrified me.
Because from what I understood, it is so so true.

It was all about how none of us have any real idea about how our food is processed, how the animals are being treated, or the actual ingredients in our food. Anyone know what Xanthum Gum is? Yeah, i didn't either.
We look on the back of cereal boxes, and have the time there are these huge lists of chemicals, and we have no idea what they actually are. How could it possibly be a good idea to feed ourselves ingredients of which we are totally ignorant??
But the worst part for me was the images of animals.

Thousands of chicks being run down a conveyor belt as if they were not living, breathing animals, just merchendise, being tossed down chutes, then grabbed by their tiny necks and being stamped for identification.
Hundreds of adult chickens packed into tiny, windowless tunnel-like houses, filled with feces, pumped so full of antibiotics and growth hormones that their bodies are overdeveloped, and their feet cannot support their overgrown bodies.
They can't even walk. Then they are packed away  for slaughter, thrown roughly into tiny crates in trucks, just thrown, as if they were nothing but garbage.

Cows standing knee deep in their own feces, covered from head to toe in manure, forced unnaturally to eat corn instead of grass...It was one of the saddest and most heart wrenching sights I have ever seen.
How could this be happening?? How could any human be so heartless as to subject another living, breathing animal to that kind of treatment?

They aren't even recognised as animals anymore, they are crops, merchendise. The companies "grow chickens" (and this is a quote from a Tyson Chicken farmer), simply for their meat, and for money. They dont care what happens to them before or afterwards.
Some farmers do care, but they are so indepted to the large companies that they dont have any say in how the chickens are treated or raised.

All I am is a child of God. And it hurts my heart so much to see other members of God's creations being so exploited and mistreated. We are supposed to be the animals' CARETAKERS. Yet we have subjected them to mere merchendise, we figure its okay to do whatever we want to them, as long as WE get meat on the table.

I'm sorry. But God would not, and is not pleased, with how those animals are being treated. I know He has ordained for animals and plants to be our food. That's why I don't have a problem with eating meat perse. But I DO have a problem when I see how the food I am eating was treated when it was still alive. Just because we are allowed to eat them does not give us the right to mistreat them so horribly while they are in our care. They are so innocent, and they have no voice, and yet they are being treated like the scum of the earth.

That makes me really, really angry and sad. People freak out when a puppy has no home, or when a racehorse is put down simply for having a leg injury, as well they well they should. But why does nobody care about these cows, chickens, turkeys? Are they any less creations of God? Why are there rescues funds for dogs and cats and horses, but no one cares that there are thousands of cows standing knee deep in their own feces??

IT'S WRONG.

And I want so desperately to DO something, to somehow change what is happening, and I don't know how. I don't want to become like one of those paranoid PETA  membors, freaking out every time any animal is eaten.

But I cannot just ignore what I saw today, act like its not happening. Because it is. I've lived my life in ignorance of what I've been eating. And I'm going to try not to do that anymore. I will go to the grocery store, and instead of just picking the cheapest cereal, I will try to look through the ingredients, and see if I actually know what they are. I will try to buy free roam, antibiotic free eggs. I will try to get free range and organic meat whenever I can.

Honestly, at this point, most people become vegetarians, because they want to protest the animal cruelty. But honestly, I don't see how that would solve anything. i would be just one vegetarian among millions of avid meat consumers. It wouldn't put any kind of a dent in the meat production process.

So what I'm going to do, is try to support those who don't mistreat their animals as much as I can. Because I don't think the meat is the problem, the process is.

.....

That's all I have to say. Except that I hope you guys will go on youtube and watch Food Inc.

Ari