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Monday, December 31, 2012

Brink of Flight

Hello,
This is Ariana from 2023, ten years after many of these posts were written. A few years ago I went through a time, where in a desire to please God, and out of fear of displeasing him, I took a lot of posts off of my blog and reverted them to drafts. However, I am going to prayerfully begin reposting some of them, because, both for memories' sake for myself, but also because not everything that was removed, needed to be. This is one of those posts. I hope it edifies you and draws you closer to Jesus. 

Originally posted on December 31, 2012


It's the last day of 2012 everyone, and hasn't so much happened? The end of the world came and went without any ruckus or worldwide upheaval, and year full of smiles and tears, transformation, hellos and goodbyes, is finally drawing to a close. Is it just me, or has 2012 seemed like a really significant year? One of those landmark years, where one day, when I am quite adult and settled, will look back and think, "2012...so many good things happened that year..."

I also remember quite clearly developing a new year's resolution list last year, on the last day of 2011, and to follow up with that, I'm going to tell you how I did in fulfilling those, and show you my 13 resolutions for 2013!

Now how my life usually works with new year's resolutions, is I'll make quite a few of them, and some of them I will work on, and others I will completely forget about...however, the cool thing is, that at the end of every year when I'm looking back at the previous year's resolutions, I discover quite a few resolutions were fulfilled without my even thinking about it (thanks God!!). The story is the same this year.

2) I was awarded a job at my university as a part of my financial aide!

3) I travelled to Thailand with none of my family, just my DTS team :)

4) Unfortunately I was not able to take a photography course, as I was out of town for the fall semester.

5) I didn't publish Secret Keeper, because honestly, it would need a huge overall before it was fit for publishing.

6) I did get all A's in my spring semester! Yay!

7) I did sing in front of an actual audience, at a talent show with my friend Brittany :)

8) I do have my own car now, given to my family for free, and fixed up by my daddy! A '99 Toyota Corolla named Addie :)

9) I sadly did not run another 5k..I did however, run five miles, which was one of my running goals.

10) I put one blue streak in my hair and didn't like it very much...


So as you can see, A LOT of them were accomplished and literally--pretty much all of that success was all because of God lining things and arranging them, so thank you heavenly Daddy!

But really. God accomplished so much in the year of 2012, He completely turned my life around, showed me so much about myself, and gave me hope and life like I've never known before. I'm going to do a separate post going more into detail about big highlights of 2012, and DTS, and what God has done in me personally this past year, I wanted this post to be mainly about resolutions, hopes, and wishes for 2013.

Here we go!! 13 resolutions/hopes/wishes/dreams for 2013!!









I need to have a time of worship, prayer, and quiet time every day, just to be in the presence of God, and hear Him in the midst of this busy world.




Remember how my resolution last year was to get all A's? Well I did...and my nerves were nearly fried by the end of the semester. While getting A's was satisfying, crying over exams because I was so nervous and stressed, studying for ten hours, and obsessing about my work isn't worth it in my opinion. I was placing my value as a person on my grades, and that wasn't okay. This semester I am determined to put God first, and not put an undue amount of pressure and stress upon myself about my grades. Of course I will work hard and do the best I can--without burning myself out and getting all stressed out about it



Exactly what it says, I want prayer to be more than just something I do when I have my quiet time. I want to intercede, I want to live a life in conversation with Jesus, talking and listening. I want to pray for those I know aren't saved, the nations that are unreached, for my future, discovering what all God has for me, in the future and in the today.




The last and most important :) For what am I, and all these endeavors, without him?

--Ariana



Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Beautiful Flaw


Hey guys, I know it's been deplorably long since I've written but I guess I don't want to write when I'm not feeling particularly inspired, I'd rather write nothing at all rather than make something up and try to make it work, so I hope you guys understand :)

Have you guys ever felt hope? I'm sure you have. The uprising, uplifting of the spirit, that makes the tips of your fingers tremble and your stomach clench because you hope it will all turn out for good but there's always a chance it might not.
I've hoped, and I've cursed hope alternately throughout my life, and there was even a point in my life where I gave it up completely because I figured what was the point?
As far as I could see, hope was a cruel mistress, bringing you up, then letting you fall,  promising things that she never gives.
But lately I've been trying to give hope a fair shake, and realizing that my definition of hope, and what hope actually means is very different.
Same goes with my definition of beauty, but that's not really a surprise, now is it?

When I looked back at what hope meant for me in my past, the best way to describe it is:  nearly instantaneous fulfillment of the fantasies within my head.
When I really liked a guy, I invested a lot of hope into him, and what I thought we should have together, what I was pretty sure he was feeling, all mixed up with my rather unrealistic romantic dreaming. And if that didn't work out the way I had hoped, I crashed and burned, and who did I blame? Hope, for "making" me fall, "making" me think about him and dream about him, and for not letting it all work out the way I thought it should have gone.

When I was going through a really bad patch with my skin or my looks in general, I would usually begin strolling the aisles of the great shopper's paradise: Target, looking, hoping for some dream product that would finally make my hair glossy and my skin clear and glowy, make my insecurities disappear as I feel my attractiveness returns.
But if, say, that product doesn't work out the way I thought I would, who do I blame? Hope.

Now, as the full circle of this year starts to come to a close, I'm starting to realize that the things I was pinning on Hope, are really belong to Expectation and Fantasy. And the anger and hurt inside of me were unfounded, the way I was drawing away refusing to hope, taking a negative view on life...that was just harming me. I built up walls, inwardly scoffing when people quoted verses like "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."  I closed myself off to the idea of love, preferring instead to flirt, and have flings, things that made me feel good about myself, but didn't require me to get emotionally attached. I decided that if anything in my life was going to "well" I had to make it happen myself, because God, or hope, or any of those fairytale happy things weren't going to get me there.

God began showing me that the reason my life kept not turning out the way I wanted it to, the reason I was nearly always unhappy with myself, the reason why as soon as one of my "flaws" disappeared, I would soon choose another to obsess about, the reason why I was never truly content, always suspicious, losing the ability to dream...
All that was stemming from one major problem, the kink in my plans, the flaw in all my striving: Clear skin, perfect hair, healthy weight, good grades, quite a few boys liking me, pretty clothes, electronics, creativity, a good singing voice...none of that mattered, none of that would satisfy me and they didn't, if God wasn't first in my heart, if I wasn't seeking Him and His Kingdom and His righteousness first.

Of course I was bitter, of  course I was angry, if I was placing my identity, the value of who I was on things as changeable as looks, possessions, of course desperation would rise at the very thought of those things being taken away, because according to me, without those things, what was I worth as a person?

Basically what I'm taking a long time to say is, giving up on hope, not trusting God to love you or provide a future, trying to carve your own destiny, and create your own identity and happiness is just simply not going to work. You may be outwardly successful, beautiful, talented, or rich, you may outwardly have it all, and pride to go along with it, but true joy, true peace, true satisfaction, being able to live without the gnawing hunger for more...they will elude you. Trust me, I know, I've been there and back again many times. It's that plain and simply, and yet not, isn't it? It's so often so hard to come to God, guilt, fear, pride, anger, they so often get in the way, keep us far away from the one thing that can truly transform us.


Have a lovely week all :)
--Ariana


Monday, December 3, 2012

Constant Battle


Somehow, no matter what I go through, it's still easy to make God small in my mind.  To compartmentalize Him, place Him in the Bible study box, in the church and campus group box, and forget that He wants to permeate my whole life, be yeast that makes me rise, wine that ferments, bringing me deeper, drawing me away from pollutions that so try to infect my soul.
I know my vices. I am often quick to self criticize, and although God has given me a lot of freedom in that area, it's still hard for me not to focus on my faults, let them consume me in a downward spiral.
Because of that downward spiral, I often drown my thoughts in media, let Pinterest and Netflix drown out my nagging thoughts, the fact that I KNOW I should be doing better, I shouldn't let my appearance get me down.
My mind shouts at me.
"Ari WHY are you worried about your skin, your weight? It's not important! It's dragging you down, making you self focused, making you selfish, getting you off track!"
"Why is this even a struggle for you Ari? Why are you so different from everyone else? No one else struggles with acne like you do, you should be ashamed."
"How long? How long am I going to try and try and never feel like I'm getting anywhere? Stop hoping, it always just lets you down, a quick rise and sickening plummet."
"Ari! Did DTS even DO anything for you? You should know better than to waste your time like that, selfish girl! Wake up and live for the Lord!"
"If you were REALLY passionate for the Lord, you wouldn't let things like this get you down, how long have you battled this? You're never going to be able to hold onto freedom OR  close relationship with the Lord. Might as well just give up."

All these voices, in my head twenty-four seven. It's so hard to separate truth from identity, but I know I should be doing more, so I make promises, which I always seem to breaking. I want to have a good quiet time, but the call to drown everything in TV or Facebook seems to be louder. God is my Protector, and I know God has made me stronger than I was, I am not hopeless, not unless I lose hope, don't daily remind myself that my identity comes FROM HIM, and because of Him, I am BEAUTIFUL.
The daily battle. Reading the word, knowing what is right, then through God's love, APPLYING it to my daily life, changing the thoughts in my mind, changing the attitude of my heart.

Romans 7:14-25For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!


Paul's cry is my own. A desperate cry to the heavens, "GOD, I can't do this on my own! I know I don't have to, but yet I try, I know You offer out your hand, but somehow I always push Your help away, try to figure it all out on my own, and it never works! I want to LIVE in You, not just breathe to death, because when it comes right down to it, at the end of the day, when the pleasures I indulge in leave me, like ashes crumbling in the wind, I am left barren, naked, yet I KNOW You are offering shelter, covering, why is it so hard for me to just come to You, just come to the life You freely offer,  why is this always a battle, a war, I can't let down my guard for one second, yet You offer strength, I am weak, I have no excuse, God help me come to You, You are my only answer, why can't I just come to You first? Deliver me from this body of death!!"

I listen to Lecrae in the darkness, lit only by the white glow of my laptop screen, and the words flow out raw, the wounds of my heart bleeding all over the page. Everywhere I turn, the voices are different, conflicting, confusing, condemning, guilt oozes, green and acid burning, my heart recoils, I want to retreat away from the world, shut myself away, try to stop the hurling shouts, ricocheting off the walls of my own mind, but they never leave,  and yet, as I do gut wrenching battle, tears falling, taking steps forward and steps back, one voice, a slip and shimmer of white, penetrates the dark and guilty mire of confused chaos--

"You are a SAINT, my DAUGHTER, my BRIDE. You are not beaten, for I am your strength, these trials these times, you were created for such times as these, walk bravely My child, and rely on Me, Oh my child, come to Me, Oh My love, do not resist Me, let Me strengthen you, embolden you. I know you are sorry from your heart's core, but repentance is turning away, walking rightly, looking to My voice, My face, My love, and not looking away. You have the Almighty, Everlasting, Alpha and Omega YAHWEH within you, YOU ARE NOT BEATEN. For when I AM is within you, WHO can be against you?"

He roars like a Lion, the Warrior King, Raw Power, Lightning Flashing, Pure Adrenaline, Strength unlike anything anyone has EVER seen, within me.
I leave forgiven, redeemed, reminded, and determined.
Bondservant of Christ.
Highest title, I am proud to bear.

One more battle won. Transformation begins once again.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Metamorphasis


Hello,
This is Ariana from 2023, ten years after many of these posts were written. A few years ago I went through a time, where in a desire to please God, and out of fear of displeasing him, I took a lot of posts off of my blog and reverted them to drafts. However, I am going to prayerfully begin reposting some of them, because, both for memories' sake for myself, but also because not everything that was removed, needed to be. This is one of those posts. I hope it edifies you and draws you closer to Jesus. 

Originally posted on March 23, 2013



"Since you have been raised from the dead with Christ Jesus.."
Clawing at dirt, filling my eyes, my mouth,
Flailing, reaching desperately,
The earth is swallowing me whole,
I know it's not right,
I fight, but gravity seems so much stronger,
I want to close my eyes,
Let it drag me down to darkness,
Away from the light,
Many choices I make,
I compromise,
Darkness is easier than light, right?
If life can't be happy, at least it should be fun,
Fun like a firecracker,
Bursts in flashes of laughter and sparks giddy,
Burns down to the taste of ashes,
I taste when I lay in my bed,
Staring at the ceiling,
Wondering where my life went,
Why nothing satisfies.
I thought I had sunk so far down, so much dirt on me,
The light couldn't reach me,
Yet I stretched up my hand,
Tired of the wrongness of life, the badness in me,
Dirt like darkness choking me,
Poison sugar,
My hand reached up, a crack in the soil found,
And strong fingers grasped my pale digits,
Pulled, and kept pulling,
Gasping, coughing, lungs burning,
Light sears my eyes, I blink,
Dirty lashes fluttering, grains of soil clinging to me,
I look up and I see,
Eyes burning through with love,
Sparking with tears, his tan calloused hand,
Reaches out and cups my freckled dirty cheek,
Stained with many wrongs,
His voice like gentleness and strength, Father, Mother, Teacher, Brother,
"I love you Ari. I love you girl."
I gasp out a sob, clutch the hand cupping my cheek,
Don't ever let me go....
"I will never leave you..."
Little by little, I disentangle myself, vines wrap around,
His eyes ever guiding me on,
His hand still grasping mine,
The journey begins,
He whispers words to me as I go
Who He is, Who I am, tightly
Why I need to keep going, not let the hissing lies,
Coil around me once more,
Vegetation that clings and holds,
Vines that strangle, sink so deep, they very nearly become a part of me,
It hurts, ripping off age old lies,
Can't I just relax? I sigh,
Why this constant work, this maze,
These lies, I'll never get through,
"Since then you have been raised with Christ Jesus, set your heart on things above..."
His voice gently commands,
And for that taste of unconditional love,
I follow the eyes, the voice, trying the reach the full light, the break of day,
A never ending sky.
I fall, weary,
The soil rises, filling my senses,
You'll never change, you're bad, you just are,
The slithering voices of lies, dirt like guilt, coats my tongue,
Despair fills my soul,
I cry to heaven,
"Have I wasted it all?"
Thunder rolls, Tears fall,
Rain comes,
Washes me slowly,
Tears of heaven leaving trails on my sin stained skin,
All of a sudden,
I don't push my way through alone,
He is all around,
My limbs armed with a strength,
Flowing from Him,
His eyes flash as I stretch my arms wide, high,
Words, mine, yet not, flowing from deep caverns in my heart,
Raining out iridescence of the spirit, boldness, freedom,
I collapse into his arms,
Chains broken, New creation. Dead to me, Alive in Christ.
Light explodes, sky expands, vibrant blue, horizons never end,
Yet His voice reminds
"Set your mind on things above, not earthly things, For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."
Hidden means it needs searching for,
New goal, new mission,
Passion, Vision,
Search for my life, hidden in Him,
And never stop.


....................

Have a good day you guys!
-Ariana







Thursday, November 22, 2012

Rebirth



Well my friends,
Now is time for me to say-
Welcome.
Welcome to new beginnings, a fresh start, a completely different perspective.
Yes, this is the blog formerly known as Windblown Whimsy, and yes, it has not seen a new post in around six months, but just as this past half year has changed me completely, so this blog is also changed.
The name 'Nothing, Yet Everything' is from the reality that without God and His working in us-we can do nothing, yet, through His power and his working in us, we can do everything.
In many ways this will be a completely different blog than Windblown Whimsy was. No longer will blogging be a pressure, a constant striving to be noticed, receive comments, to gain followers.
'Nothing, Yet Everything' will be my way of living out the call in -->

Philippians 4:8

New International Version (NIV)
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Whether that be sharing about my walk with God and what He has been showing me, sharing about the start and progress of my crocheting ministry, or posting photography which shows the beauty of God's creation, I am resolved in that no matter what I post on this blog, it gives glory to God and comes from Him, not from my own striving or selfish endeavors.

                                  It's been a long time coming, but a new beginning is here.
                                               Welcome to Nothing, Yet Everything!
                                                              The journey begins.

--Ariana

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Rest of My Life

So. This is essentially it. I've graduated. I remember being in third grade, and looking at th seniors and thinking that I would never be that old, I'd be in school forever. And honestly, it feels like I have been in highschool for forever, and SO much has happened.

I remember my freshman year. 2009. I was so different back then, when I look at a picture of myself from that year, its almost like looking at a stranger. That was before I working out or doing anything like that, so I was a bit on the chubby side, but more than that, I remember how unself assured I was, but at the same time, I was full to the brim with imagination and emotion. I wrote so many stories, and they were actually quite good, I so was ready to give myself passionately to any cause or fancy that came my way.

                              
And as the years went by, I learned I more and I grew and some dreams died, others sprung up anew.  Times I was closer to God and other I was farther away, times when discouragement really got to me, and times where I could just feel the love from my Heavenly Father wrap around me.
And now I sit back, look upon my highschool career, and wonder, "Have I pleased God? Have I sought to please God, or myself?" So many times I sought to please myself. I made myself miserable obsessing about MY appearance, MY acne and how much it hurt me and made ME feel ashamed, MY triumphs, and MY struggles. But where is God in the midst of those four years of teenagedom?

                             

I'm not going to pretend I'm a perfect Christian, stand here and tell you that I've been nothing but faithful these past four years, that God was foremost in my mind and heart, because most of the time, He wasn't. I was too worried about myself, and my own warped opinion of myself, not to mention how much I worried about what other people thought of me. I for so long wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be that perfect blonde southern girl, with the shiny straight hair and tanned skin. I wanted to be that brilliant blogger who attracts people with her style and writing flair, her photography and panache. I wanted to be the athlete, the volleyball player, that girl who was confident and coordinated. I wanted to be the girl who effortlessly pulled things off.
So often I was so unsatisfied with who I was, my insecurity and worry ate at me.

But I think, throughout of these four years, God has taught me so many things, but one of the things that I think is the most important that he has taught me, and lord knows, will continue teaching me for the rest of my life, is that it is NOT ABOUT ME. I could tell you that he has taught to accept myself, which in many ways He has, and he has blessed me so much, but I realize now, that my goal in life isn't to "accept myself" or "love myself" its love God above all else, to love others, preach the Gospel to them, to serve them and show them how God can transform their lives, and most of all, to serve GOD with everything I do. It's hard. My bent is to be selfish, my bent is to worry about what I want and what I look like and thinking about how others see me. And every day I need to read God's word and renew my mind, and get my mindset where it's supposed to be.

And I realize not many people are going to read this, and fewer, if any, are going to comment. But you know what? If I've encouraged even one person, that's good enough for me. Who am I to expect hundreds of readers and dozens of comments? I'm thankful God is keeping me humble for now, and he's taught me so much through this blog, and even if it never becomes popular, I'm very thankful it exists. So many different stages of my life have been recorded through these posts these past few years, and I don't need validation from others to make that important.

But those of you who do read my paltry ramblings, I love you guys. I know I'm not a perfect blogger, but I hope you guys have been at least a little helped and encouraged by my writings, the outpourings of a highschooler's heart. But that highschooler isn't here anymore. Who knows what God has in store for my future? All I know is I will follow where He leads. Thanks for coming with me on the journey that is the rest of my life.

Love you guys!
God bless forever and ever,

Ariana

Thursday, April 26, 2012

India Awaits...

First of all...I apologize for not having posted in nearly a month. But I have been so incredibly busy with finals and papers and homework and presentations and juggling things left and right that I honestly haven't had time.
But I have two pieces of rather big news:
First of all:

                                          
This handsome fella is now my boyfriend :) And he is pretty awesome and stuff and I like his face :3

Second of all:

I will be going on a YWAM DTS for six months, starting June 3rd.  I knowww that's a whole ton of capital letters next to each that don't mean anything to you guys, so I'll explain it!
YWAM (or youth with a mission) is an organization dedicated to training up college students to serve God and spread his message throughout the world, they have bases all over the world, and have ministered to thousands of people. They have this program called Discipleship Training School (hence the DTS) and its a program where students over the age of 18, train for three months at one of their bases, really growing in their faith and learning how to share their faith, before going out and doing missions work for around ten weeks.

And that's what I am doing! And I can't even BEGIN to describe how EXCITED I am. It all started when I was reading this excellent book entitled 'Lady In Waiting' (which I reccomend every young woman read, single or otherwise) and there was a whole chapter dedicated to encouraging young unmarried women to, rather than trying to fulfill themselves through human relationships, use their single-ness and freedom to serve God. That really struck me. These years of my life, when I am in college and unmarried, is when I have the least responsibility on me. I don't have a family of my own to take care of, nor do I have a job that consumes alot of my time. I do have alot of free time, and that free should and will be used to serve the Lord.

God is so awesome and has blessed me so much..I should be using all of my time to serve him and bring him glory, and that it is what I am determined to do.

I will be training in Madison, WI for three months, then I will go to Northeast India and Bhutan, which is an AMAZING God-thing, because I have always been drawn to India and felt like I needed to go there, and I didn't even know we were going to go to India when I applied for the DTS.

So this is going to be a big journey for me and I am so excited to be going on it..just bear in mind you guys, that I will be in training for three months, then in India for the rest of the time..my blogging will be sporadic at best, but I will try to share as much of the experience as I can with you guys.

Please pray for strength and boldness as I take this step down the path that God is guiding me, I can't wait to go grow closer and closer to him.

Love,
Ariana
   

                 

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Lense Beautiful

Hi girls!! Now on for my birthday part of my birthday post...It really was a great day, the best birthday I've had so far. It wasn't the presents, or the food, it was the love I felt that day. My grandparents called me while I was still in bed, showering me with blessings and well wishes, and the presents I did get, well, let's say my parents know me very well.
One present made me cry.
My new, amazing, beautiful Nikon D3100.





I'm really excited about that.
But more than that, being eighteen feels really...settled.
God's leading me in the way I should go, and I trust Him.
But...it that might be in Switzerland...very soon :P
But...more on that later.
Cliffhanging,
Ariana

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Oh yeah.


Hello,
This is Ariana from 2023, ten years after many of these posts were written. A few years ago I went through a time, where in a desire to please God, and out of fear of displeasing him, I took a lot of posts off of my blog and reverted them to drafts. However, I am going to prayerfully begin reposting some of them, because, both for memories' sake for myself, but also because not everything that was removed, needed to be. This is one of those posts. I hope it edifies you and draws you closer to Jesus. 

Originally posted on March 1, 2012



First of all--
I'm gonna shoot a new recipe at y'all. Because it's tasty, healthy, and filling, but not too filling.
They are Oatmeal and Peanut Butter Pancakes!!
And they rock.
HARRRDD.

PB & J Oatcakes
vegan | makes 10 medium pancakes
Ingredients
1/2 cup quick cooking oats
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup boiling water
1/4 cup non-dairy milk [like almond or soy]
1 Tablespoon peanut butter
pinch salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons sugar
Topping2 Tablespoons each natural peanut butter and jelly

Method | Preheat griddle to medium-high heat [about 350 degrees]. Prepare oatmeal by combinging oats and boiling water in a bowl. Cover and let set for 5 minutes. Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl. Add remaining wet ingredients to oatmeal, including PB, and mix. Add wet to dry and stir until just combined. Scoop onto lightly greased griddle in 1/4 cup measurements. These take a bit longer to cook than traditional pancakes since the oatmeal gives them a lot of moisture – about 2-3 minutes each side. Top with melted PB and J. Dig in!

NOTES:
This will not taste like your average pancake. Its moist on the inside and doesnt really have the fluffy consistency that most pancakes have--but then again they arent carb bombs like traditional pancakes. So. TRY EM. I think y'all will like them :)

MOAR NOTES:

Running and Exercising in general.
How much is too much?
Because I am definitely a victim of  runner's guilt.
I'm pretty sure anyone who is a runner knows how I feel.
You feel guilty when you can't run, and you feel guilty after you run because you think you should have gone farther, run harder.
It's good to push yourself, it's good to extend your limit and reach new heights.
But how much is too much? When does the line cross from 'pushing yourself' to 'overtraining'?
Does anyone know?
Cuz this chick would like to.

EAT HEALTHY. BE HAPPY. RUN LOTS.

Love,
Ari

Monday, February 27, 2012

Outrage

I think for some reason, I feel like God has really been laying food on my heart.  Let me explain. Lately I've been very interested in finding recipes involving all natural ingredients, and trying to incorporate them into my life, with my limited budget. At first I was just think about it from the standpoint of my own personal health goals. I want to maintain my weight, keep a trim figure, so it makes sense to eat GOOD food, not all that processed artificial food that your body wasnt meant to consume.
But today my view on that matter has drastically changed, because my English teacher showed us a movie in class, called Food, Inc.
Which shocked, horrified, and terrified me.
Because from what I understood, it is so so true.

It was all about how none of us have any real idea about how our food is processed, how the animals are being treated, or the actual ingredients in our food. Anyone know what Xanthum Gum is? Yeah, i didn't either.
We look on the back of cereal boxes, and have the time there are these huge lists of chemicals, and we have no idea what they actually are. How could it possibly be a good idea to feed ourselves ingredients of which we are totally ignorant??
But the worst part for me was the images of animals.

Thousands of chicks being run down a conveyor belt as if they were not living, breathing animals, just merchendise, being tossed down chutes, then grabbed by their tiny necks and being stamped for identification.
Hundreds of adult chickens packed into tiny, windowless tunnel-like houses, filled with feces, pumped so full of antibiotics and growth hormones that their bodies are overdeveloped, and their feet cannot support their overgrown bodies.
They can't even walk. Then they are packed away  for slaughter, thrown roughly into tiny crates in trucks, just thrown, as if they were nothing but garbage.

Cows standing knee deep in their own feces, covered from head to toe in manure, forced unnaturally to eat corn instead of grass...It was one of the saddest and most heart wrenching sights I have ever seen.
How could this be happening?? How could any human be so heartless as to subject another living, breathing animal to that kind of treatment?

They aren't even recognised as animals anymore, they are crops, merchendise. The companies "grow chickens" (and this is a quote from a Tyson Chicken farmer), simply for their meat, and for money. They dont care what happens to them before or afterwards.
Some farmers do care, but they are so indepted to the large companies that they dont have any say in how the chickens are treated or raised.

All I am is a child of God. And it hurts my heart so much to see other members of God's creations being so exploited and mistreated. We are supposed to be the animals' CARETAKERS. Yet we have subjected them to mere merchendise, we figure its okay to do whatever we want to them, as long as WE get meat on the table.

I'm sorry. But God would not, and is not pleased, with how those animals are being treated. I know He has ordained for animals and plants to be our food. That's why I don't have a problem with eating meat perse. But I DO have a problem when I see how the food I am eating was treated when it was still alive. Just because we are allowed to eat them does not give us the right to mistreat them so horribly while they are in our care. They are so innocent, and they have no voice, and yet they are being treated like the scum of the earth.

That makes me really, really angry and sad. People freak out when a puppy has no home, or when a racehorse is put down simply for having a leg injury, as well they well they should. But why does nobody care about these cows, chickens, turkeys? Are they any less creations of God? Why are there rescues funds for dogs and cats and horses, but no one cares that there are thousands of cows standing knee deep in their own feces??

IT'S WRONG.

And I want so desperately to DO something, to somehow change what is happening, and I don't know how. I don't want to become like one of those paranoid PETA  membors, freaking out every time any animal is eaten.

But I cannot just ignore what I saw today, act like its not happening. Because it is. I've lived my life in ignorance of what I've been eating. And I'm going to try not to do that anymore. I will go to the grocery store, and instead of just picking the cheapest cereal, I will try to look through the ingredients, and see if I actually know what they are. I will try to buy free roam, antibiotic free eggs. I will try to get free range and organic meat whenever I can.

Honestly, at this point, most people become vegetarians, because they want to protest the animal cruelty. But honestly, I don't see how that would solve anything. i would be just one vegetarian among millions of avid meat consumers. It wouldn't put any kind of a dent in the meat production process.

So what I'm going to do, is try to support those who don't mistreat their animals as much as I can. Because I don't think the meat is the problem, the process is.

.....

That's all I have to say. Except that I hope you guys will go on youtube and watch Food Inc.

Ari

Saturday, February 25, 2012

For the past three days, tortilla wraps have been my lunch of choice, and let me tell you, its been a wonderful change. Because....usually I hate lunch. It's just not a good meal. Unless i get to eat leftovers from dinner, its just sandwiches, day in and day out.
Tortillas have saved my lunches.

And....here is the recipes for the heroic lunch saving tortillas:





See? Super easy, and super tasty!!
Yesterday my tortillas were filled with

                                                     Crunchy breaded chicken
1. Breaded Chicken, sliceed up into little chunks.

Corn corn corn corn.             black beans    homemade ranch dressing

2. Corn, black beans, and ranch dressing, plus

Pinned Image

Some avocado if you can find some!!

Put it all in the tortilla, and vwallah, a tasty and filling lunch!!
And for today's tortilla lunch:

             Pinned Image      Pinned Image         

A couple of fried eggs with salt and pepper and some turket lunch meat--also delicious!!

Thus my lunch has been reincarnated into something awesome--what are you guys going to try?

Love,
Lunch Lover,
Ari

Thursday, February 23, 2012

So. Today I made homemade tortillas.
I would like to be:

-Making healthy, delicious food rather than simply buying everything, and eating junk food full of preservatives.

Because food doesn't have to be fatty, processed, or chemical laden to be delicious.



White_velvet_soup

I am going to be filling my body with whole grains, fruits and vegetables, plenty of water, nuts and nutrients. Because our bodies are meant to be cherished and treasures, they need vitamins, protein, nutrients to thrive.



Bean_chestnut_salad


Because the healthy options...they just look way too delicious to pass up :)

Oh my goodness...it just all looks so delicious. I want to make like all of these things all at the same time!!

Yeah. I kind of love all this...and the images are from this AMAZING blog My New Roots , she takes the most gorgeous photos of her recipes, and all them are all natural and super delicious looking! So check her out!

Not only am I going to eat as naturally and organically as I can, I'm also trying to limit my hair and bodycare products to all natural ones.

For my hair I'm currently using all natural shampoo and conditioner:
                                                         
More Moisture Raspberry & Brazil Nut Shampoo
The lovely Burt's Bees shampoo, free of parabans and alcohol, and it smells really good.
For my conditioner....shea moisture raw shea butter restorative conditioner. I JUST got it today, and so far I like it, but we'll see how it stands against the test of time! But its fragrence free, paraben free, alcohol free, and as far as I can tell, its pretty moisturizing-
UPDATE: Feb. 2017, as far as I remember, I didn't end up liking the shea moisture conditioner, so I don't think I would recommend it.


Love,
Ari

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love is HardCore

People these days have all the wrong ideas about love.
They think it's something that can be fallen into, jumped into, created, or even bought.
They think love is a feeling, a mushiness around your heart slowly melts away like snow.
They think love is lust, passion that burns hot, then fades to ashes.
They think love doesn't exist, that its a word used to manipulate others.
They think love is an idea for those living in a fantasy land.
They think love is overrated.

Well. I'm here to tell you they are wrong. Love isn't selfish, it's selfless. Love isn't a feeling, it's an action. Love exists, because God IS love, and He is everywhere. Love isn't lust, because when one person truly loves another, they want what's best for the other person. Love can't be overrated, because it's one of the most powerful forces on earth.

Love fights for what is right, but never judges.

Love gives, but doesn't expect payment or returned favors.

Love speaks the truth, but without cruelty or malice.

Love can melt hearts, mold souls, and change lives.

So on this Valentines Day of 2012, remember that the point of love isn't chocolate, roses, and teddy bears because love is much BIGGER than that. It's a force that can change your life, and the lives of others. So spill out your love today and be a force for good!

And never forget, the ultimate expression of love, which was the death of Christ on the cross, where he bore the sins of the WORLD. The world. All the sins of all time that anyone ever commited, in thought, word, or deed. Can you even imagine the pain he endured? Everyone always emphasizes the physical pain Jesus endured. But can you even imagine what He was going through mentally and emotionally? God Incarnate, covered in the filth of humanity, so drenched in the sins of man that the Father, a part of Him, a part of the Trinity, turned His face away from Him. I couldn't imagine anyone having to deal with that kind of pain. And He was completely blameless. Utterly.  All for us.

And half of the time, we forget about it completely. We forget to thank Him for what He did for us.

So I propose, that this Valentines Day, we remember who taught us what love meant in the first place.

LOVE,

Ariana

Monday, February 6, 2012

Praising Jesus

Sometimes I forget how large God's plan is, and how small i am within it. How big He is and how much He knows, how well He knows me, inside and out. I mean, He created me. He knows me better than I know myself.
How easily I forget that.
But sometimes all it takes is just one little thing, one gesture, to make me realize how much He loves me. It sounds so cliche, but I mean it. It makes me feel so unworthy. What  have I dont at all to deserve to be so blessed? I havent done anything. In fact, many times I've done the exact oppasite of what He tells us to do. I don't understand why he continues to love and bless me so much. It doesn't make any sense.
Yet He does.


Every situation in my life somehow plays into it too, that's whats so amazing. Sometimes, about half way through the year, I'll look back on my list of New year's resolutions, and i'll be amazed by how many have come true even after I completely forgot about them.
I forgot, but He always remembers.


And somehow, He always provides at the right time. Like when I was looking for a photographer for my senior pictures, I discovered a woman I used to babysit for at my church is a photography major. It just blows my mind how He works like that, sometimes without my even asking.


So That's my tidbit for today.
God is awesome.
The end.

Love,
Ari



Thursday, February 2, 2012

God in the Overcast










My.
I am quite thrilled that picnik is now allowing me to use the premium features for free.
Of course I am VERY sad that they are closing in April...but I am so glad I can use the premium features until then!

It's been a good day. A nice, overcast, take-pictures-and-drink-tea kind of day. 
Praise God, Who created beauty in the days with sunshine and the days without, and is creating a Home for those who are believers far more beautiful than anything on this earth. 
Seek Him, His Kingdom, and His Righteousness FIRST, 
Ari
Matthew 6:33


Friday, January 27, 2012

Skies Hold Secrets



These are my two favorite edits of the week, and I think they turned out fantastic, but the first is definitely my favorite. It's my goal to use my photography as a means of making people think, to have them look into the photo, and then into themselves, to make them ponder and contemplate. I think that first photo is a step in the right direction to making that dream come true :)







Oh how I wish I had an snocone right now!! That would be the best :)
So here's a little taste of the bygone summer for you guys, I imagine at least a few of you live up north and are currently buried in snowdrifts--enjoy the green grass and amazing summer lighting!
sigh....
I do so love it out west. These photos were all taken in Utah and Idaho, and I really believe Utah is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. The hills seemed to swallow me up, but in a warm way, like a hug rather than intimidating. If God wills it, maybe I'll be out there someday, in a little town with cute thrift stores and a farmer's market, surrounded by hills and an everlasting sky.

Ari









Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Escape to the Unknown


So I kind of love this photo. Not only because yours truly took the photo annnndd edited it, but also because it really expresses the kind of editing I've really been into lately. Unusual, yet  innovative and thought provoking.

Mwaha.


I really like this one too!!

I also have a few pictures from pinterest to share!!


This hair is sooo pretty.




I kind of really want this poster...hehe just sayin!







Ooooooooooh. Pretty cooolors.






You could kind of say I like multicolored hair


Awwwwwwwww




....Favorite :)

Have a great rest of the week girlies!!!

Love,
Ari





Saturday, January 14, 2012




Look what I found! A blossom! In the middle of January! Only in Florida...

And some pictures from this past summer that I never got to share with you guys...




Look at her sticking out her tongue!! Isnt she just adorable??

Anyways...
Yeah. I don't really have alot to say.
But have a great rest of the weekend guys!!
Love,
Ari